holocene by bon iver
dee westfield
monday april 8th;
The only thing I like about pep rallies are the fact that we get to miss an afternoon of school and not get into trouble for it.
I had just left math class when Dylan met up with me. "Dee! Wait up!" He jogged over, books in his hands, and came up beside me.
My books were to my chest, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders while we walked to our lockers. "Excited for the pep rally?" He asked.
"No not really." I admitted. We both laughed until we reached the wall that contained both of our lockers.
I opened the door and papers flew off my shelves and onto the floor. Just in time, Hunter happened to show up.
"Whoa." He said, turning from Dylan to me and smiling. He bent down to pick up some of my papers but I grabbed them quickly.
"Thanks." I muttered and piled them on the top shelf of my locker.
"Are you ashamed of your marks?" He asked out of the blue.
"No. They're just personal is all." I covered up instead of nodding and letting out a simple 'yes'.
"If you say so." He smiled and patted my shoulder lightly. "I'll see you at the pep rally." He said and walked out with Dylan.
I shut my locker door and let my head fall with it. What was wrong with me? Why was I always so uptight and secretive? The only person who wanted to hang out with me was Dylan, and he's my brother. How pathetic was that?
So I made my way slowly to the pep rally. I was hoping to get there late so that I would end up having to sit in some random seat and not have to worry that no one saved me one. They wouldn't even notice if I came.
I walked in, and low and behold, Dylan was waving at me forcefully. He pointed to the empty seat beside him and smiled. On his other side was Hunter, who seemed slightly less eager that I was coming over. Oh well, I had nothing to lose.
I held my bag in my hands as I squeezed through the rows to get to the empty seat. I was expecting the entire football team to be sitting together, but it was only Dylan and Hunter who were together.
It wasn't so bad. They were nice, funny, and we actually had some fun conversations. I was glad that I had decided to come. I did feel slightly out of place though, as usual, since I didn't really follow up on the whole 'school sprit'.
I was just happy to be with my brother and Hunter.
The pep rally ended around three, and we all got to go home. I, on the other hand, had an English assignment due the next day, so I decided to walk to the library a block away to try and get started.
English was my favorite subject. In fact, I wanted to major in English literature or creative writing and hopefully get a job writing for Nylon or Vogue magazine.
Another thing I loved was the library. I could spend hours reading and looking at the different types of books that laid on the very shelves.
I spent a good two hours or so on my assignment, until I decided to head home. It was already five thirty and the walk home was at least twenty minutes.
It was a slight detour to get back to my house, because I had to pass the school again. I always took a short cut through the woods just passed my school which cut a good five minutes from my walk.
As I was walking through the forest, I heard noises. Branches breaking and bushes moving.
My heart started beating faster and faster, and I was getting more and more nervous. I started to walk faster, but the noises were following me and didn't stop. Finally, it caught up to me, and as I turned a corner in the woods, someone escaped from the corner bush.
I jumped back and almost tripped backwards. Thankfully, the figure grabbed my wrist to help me from falling. He just so happened to pull me in extra close, and when I looked up, I saw Hunter. "Are you okay?"
"Um yeah." I let go of him and wiped my sweater for any visible dirt stains.
"What are you doing here?" I questioned him. Why was he here in the woods?
"I'm going home. I had football practice."
"Oh."
Then came the silence. I didn't know why, but our relationship was never the same when high school started. I lost my best friend, and it was hard.
"I've missed you." He blurted out of nowhere.
"Wh-what?" I asked, stupefied.
"It's just, remember when we were younger? We used to be best friends. I've never had a friend as close as you were." He admitted.
"People changed. We sure did." I said with a sense of entitlement, trying to sound okay with everything when I wasn't.
We both stopped talking. He moved in closer, and the only noise was of him stepping on branches. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. He lifted his arm, and although my view was mostly directly at his face, I saw him move it up closer to me.
He reached for shoulder and brushed the bare skin my tank top failed to cover. He pulled up my cardigan sleeve, which had now fallen to the middle of my arm. He pulled it up to sit in place on my shoulder. "I don't want you to get cold."
My body shivered and I suddenly got goosebumps. "Thanks." I shrugged quietly. His skin against my skin, even if only for a second, felt magical. Don't ask me why, but after that day, I had suddenly developed a million different feelings for Hunter. The feelings that rarely came around for me.
I didn't even care that in that last second, when there was barely even a gap between us, it started to pour rain.
We both looked up and started to laugh. I started spinning in the rain letting my skirt flow around with me. I was soaking wet, when he grabbed my waist and pulled me in from behind. "Come here." He pulled my inside his jacket that he had just put on and lifted the good over the both of us.
I started giggling again, this time more in a slightly flirty way, not on purpose though.
He was laughing too, and after a few moments, we started running through the forest. "My car is just on the other side, do you want a lift?" He asked.
"No it's fine." I said. "I like the rain." I admitted.
We had already arrived at his car. "At least take my jacket. I won't need it." He slipped out of it and wrapped it around my shoulders before I could say something.
"Thanks. I'll give it back to you tomorrow."
"Don't worry, I'm in no rush. It almost never rains here." He kissed my forehead before getting into his jeep.
I knew it was more of a brotherly love type of kiss, but I still liked it a little more than usual. And now I was wearing his jacket.
I kept the biggest grin on my face the whole walk home. This was one of the few times I had been happy in a while, so it was nice.
~
friday april 12th;
I still had Hunter's jacket, which I never got the chance to give him. I had seen him in class and around the halls quickly, but not really a lot. The whole week I had been busy at lunch with teachers and homework.
In science class, we happened to be matched up as lab partners, so it gave me the chance to spark a conversation.
We were sitting next to each other on the lab stools, wearing safety goggles and aprons. "You know, I still have your jacket." I said.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He put down the test tube in his hand and turned to face me, removing his goggles. "Here's an idea. Are you going to the game tonight?" He asked.
"Um yeah, why?" I was getting suspicious. What was he going to say next?
He continued talking. "After the game, you come to my after-party for a little while, and then you can give me the jacket. Deal?"
He let out his hand and I shook it. "Deal." We both laughed and continued working together.
-------
It was a beautiful night, and yet I was carrying around a raincoat the whole game. I sat down though with my family for most of it.
So the game ended and we won. Everyone was pumped after the game, running around and cheering and shouting. I roamed around the darker end of the field until the crowd got smaller and people started leaving.
The entire team was still there, along with the fifty other people or so who were going to the ‘after-party’. I made my way to the herd of high-sprung teenagers and straight towards Hunter. I tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey.” I said, looking up at him as he turned around.
“Hey.” He turned away from the others to face me.
“I have your jacket.” I handed it to him, sweetly.
He grabbed it and put his arm around my shoulder. “Come on.” We started walking to his car. I got into the passenger seat of his olive green jeep and we drove down to his home.
Five minutes later, we had arrived. A bunch of people walked in at the same time, and we made our way inside, where people had already undressed into their bikinis, grabbed the beers and headed to his backyard. I searched for Hunter, but he was no where to be found. So, I sat down on the couch and watched.
This wasn’t really my crowd. I didn’t usually go to parties, and drink, and skinny-dip, or whatever it was that they all did.
Nonetheless, Hunter came back, with two beers. “For you.” He said and handed me one of them as he took a sip of the other one.
One more beer later, I was drunk. I guess it’s because it was my first time drinking, so I didn’t really expect it. Hunter had already had at least four though. He was totally out of it. And he had still managed to stay with me the whole time.
We were still on the couch, until he stood up. “Do you wanna go for a walk?” He stuttered.
“Um, sure.” I took his hand and we walked outside and onto the beach. We were right by the sea, but far enough not to get wet. Suddenly, he stopped and fell to the sand. He was lying on his back, facing the sky. He tugged on my arm and pulled me to the ground.
“Look at the stars.” He started, before breaking into song. Coldplay’s ‘Yellow’.
“Shut up.” I pushed him playfully. “You’re drunk.”
“No I’m not.” He said, well, drunk.
We were laughing, until he looked at me, and suddenly, he was so much closer. Our hands were touching lightly, and he turned on his side to face me.
The next thing I knew, he pressed his lips against mine, lightly, and then harder. But it felt good. Other than the sand that was coming up my shirt as moved in even closer to me.
In that one moment, when we were alone on the beach, I finally let go of everything else. I didn’t have a single care in the world. Everything was just fine.
~
